Win Back Your Ex Secrets

Make Your Ex Return Your Call

2010-02-08T23:08:00.003-05:00

Are there some sort of "magical" words to use to get your ex to call you back? It may sound silly or hard to believe but there are certain words that can almost put your ex in a spell making him compelled to return your call.

What "Not" To Say!
Before getting into the actual words, there are two messages that in most cases will never work.

THE PLEAD:
This is where your message sounds like "Jeff, please,I really really need you to call me, I HAVE to talk to you."

THE EMERGENCY:
"Cathy, this is an emergency.Please call me back as soon as you can."

Can you see the problem with these two messages!
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ADVANTAGES OF CURIOSITY AND SELF INTEREST
These can be very influential powers of the mind.The combination of the two can give you a formula that will work like "magic."

Here's what will work every time:

"Hello Jeff .It's Cathy, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you did for me.Give me a call because I would like to thank you in person."

Can you see the curiosity and self interest in this call?

Jeff will be curious and can't resist! "What is it that I did?"
"What is she appreciating?" he will be thinking.And Jeff will start feeling pretty darn good about the message.

To make this work you need to have a "plan"........which is to figure out something that they did big or small that is plausible.

IMPORTANT!........You must have a "strategy" in place before they call back or you can do more damage than good, if not handled properly!
Every thing that you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is more critical than actually getting them to return your call.

Saying I Love You

2010-02-07T20:33:00.000-05:00

DEFINE THE TERM LOVE. The strength and sincerity of the phrase" I LOVE YOU" is gained by knowing what love is, and what loving someone actually means to you. It's important to know the difference between love, infatuation and just lust. Make sure the love that you feel for that person is absolutely truly genuine.

MAKING IT SPECIAL. For the majority of people, saying "Love you" without using the"I" allows the sentiment to be expressed casually. Using the full phrase "I Love you" can be kept for more intimate moments, such as after love making or during those subtle moments of silence right after a kiss.

MAKING EYE CONTACT. If you really love the person, you should feel more than comfortable enough to look into their eyes when you are expressing your feelings. Making eye contact shows sincerity and trust.Gaze into their eyes while kissing. The amount you can say "I love you" with your eyes is absolutely astonishing.

SAYING IT IN A PROPER TONE. When you're at home, keep your voice low; don't whisper unless you bring your lips to their ear or very close to their face.This can be a very intimate way to express your love. If you feel the urge to tell them how you feel in a public place, it's your choice whether you want to take them off to the side, or just say it in front of friends and even strangers. It narrows down to your loved one's personality, and your own personality how you want to handle it.. Some will find it really romantic to be told they're loved across a room full of people; others may find it embarrassing and be a total turn off.

BEING CREATIVE. Say "I love you" in a simple little poem and leave it in a place where they will come upon it, spell it out with rose petals or chocolates on the bedspread.Say it in little ways, like post-it notes in unexpected places, and express your feelings every way you can.

LOVE. Don't just say it, do it. Saying "I love you" without showing that you do is, in a way, kind of being deceiving so to speak.

ONE LAST THOUGHT. Everyone shows their love differently. Try and look for your partner's way of expressing their love for you. It might not be the same as you do or want, but you may not be doing it the way they may want and they should also look at the way you would like things as well.

Favorite Quotes

2010-02-07T17:54:00.011-05:00

DON'T BE SAD
Don't be sad for being without someone who is happy being without you.

LOVING
The most beautiful discovery true soul mates make is that they can grow without growing apart.

LOVE QUOTE
Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart.

LUST AND LOVE
Lust is when you love what you see, Love is when you lust for what's inside.

SET IT FREE
If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't it never was.

LUST OR LOVE

To lust after one is wrong, to love the one you lust after is eternal.

RELATIONSHIP
You should never love someone because you need them; you should need them because you love them.

FRIENDS FOREVER
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out, also a friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!

GETTING OVER HEARTBREAK
Someday you will cry for me like I cried for you.
Someday you will miss me like I missed you.
Someday you will need me like I needed you.
Someday you will love me but I won't love you.

BREAK UPS
The hardest thing about breaking up is not the point that its over,but the reason why it's over.

FRIENDS
An old friend is better than two new ones...Don't walk in front of me, I will not follow, don't walk behind me, I will not lead, please walk beside me and just be my friend!!!

Moving On

2010-02-07T15:08:00.008-05:00

It's an inevitable fact that moving on can be painful, hurtful and difficult. It's very seldom easy unless you're absolutely ready to make changes and move on. A break up can disrupt your life. Everything you do and see will probably remind you of your ex. Even going out with friends that the both of you had together could be very difficult and awkward.

One of the biggest hills to climb is facing family and friends when you're ready to move on with your life. If your ex was well liked by your family, you are going to get angry and frustrated with all the questions and pushiness about the break up.Take a firm stance and explain to them that you're moving on with your life and the relationship is over for good. Make it clear to them that you do not like being constantly reminded about the past relationship and break up.

A lot of times family will have a hard time dealing with the situation. They will want to keep dwelling on the relationship hoping that the two of you will get back together. Explain to them in a polite but stern way that the relationship is over and you are moving on with your life and that is the end of it period! Sooner or later they will come around because "family is family and they will always love you" Dealing with the friends the two of you had could prove to be sometimes more difficult.

If their wasn't a whole lot of mutual friends, then problems should be a lot less. If the both of you frequently socialized with the same group of people, going alone to be with those friends will probably seem a little awkward for a while. Another hurdle to jump over is your ex will want to socialize with the same group of friends as well. There is the possibility that the two of you may run into each other amongst these mutual friends. This doesn't mean that you have to stop socializing with them. It just simply means that it's going to be more difficult to hang on to some of those friendships once the break up is over.

Your ex and yourself may each have to keep in touch with only certain friends in your group of mutual friends. Just try to keep good contact and relationships with the friends that you care about the most, allowing your ex to do the same with the others. While this can be painful and awkward, it will probably be best on everyone because they won't have to make a choice of which to be friends with and which to avoid.

Think positively. A break up can mean a brand new beginning, having another opportunity to find someone else to be with, someone new and different. You won't feel bad forever. Change your way of thinking, that will help change your behavior. In a short time you will be feeling released, content and free, and looking forward to take on new challenges. Make sure that in everything that you do "Be True to Yourself."

Remember! Live your life the way you see fit, don't let family or friends try to sway your decisions, if you do, you will most certainly regret it later!

How To Restore Trust In This Relationship

2010-02-05T15:41:00.001-05:00

If you need to re-build trust within your relationship, these are some steps that may be helpful . This is the best way to get your ex to trust you again.
1. Apologize. To build trust again with your ex you need to start with a sincere and meaningful apology. It is important to show remorse for any wrong doing on your part Let your ex know that you have hurt them and that you broke their trust. Be responsible for your actions. Don't use excuses. And don't sound like you want something in return.
If it’s been quite some time since you have talked to your ex. It doesn’t matter. You’ll feel better if you give your ex a call and so will they.
Remember, your not begging or pleading here.You are apologizing. It doesn't matter what the situation is, it’s always a smart thing to apologize when it is necessary.
2. Listen. Truly listen to what your ex has to say at this point. Again, there is no point in making excuses. Let them know that you are aware of their pain. Do not be judgemental, argumentative, or defensive.
Now is the time to be understanding and to listen to what your ex has to say, make sure you acknowledge their thoughts and feelings that they share with you.
3. Right the wrong. Always be accountable for things you may have done that caused the trust to be broken. The best way to accomplish this is to fix the problem if you can. Let's say if there was a relationship with someone else, end it. If you have taken something of theirs, return it. These are just examples which may not apply to you, the point is, to understand the lesson here.
4. Consistency is the key. Take advantage of all opportunities to prove that you can be trusted again. The best way is by being considerate and honest with everything, no matter how little they are.
5. Be patient. Don’t expect results right away. Depending on your circumstance, gaining trust again may require small little steps. Be consistent in your actions that you take however small, you will get there. Your ex can and will trust you again.
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Getting Over Someone You Love

2010-02-04T17:11:00.000-05:00

How to get over someone you are still in love with?, there are no easy answers for this one. Regardless of how prepared you think you are you need to move on with your life and get over your partner, it is going to be a painful process.Sometimes it can be a very heartbreaking and slow process. At times you might think you are over your ex and a year or so later you may start thinking of your ex and feel all the painful sadness again. Usually that doesn't mean you're not over the person though.

Having a lot of emotions and feelings invested into a relationship and suddenly it ends, is something that can in reality make you feel sad and empty for years to come. Possibly even for the rest of your life. you need to realize that doesn't mean the pain and sadness has to be a heavy burden on your life. By getting over your ex, you can start to realize that losing them made you sad and heartbroken, and look back on it as you would with any painful loss.

When your break up is recent, most of the time the only way to deal with it is just to face everything and let it take it's course. It's going to hurt no matter how you deal with it.But there are many things you can do to erase the hurt.The first thing you need to do is get rid of any physical or visual reminders of your ex. It is important to avoid the places you and your ex used to go together for a while until you feel comfortable and confident that you can handle it.

If you find it difficult living your life after breaking up, it might be favorable to seek some professional advice or
counseling of some sort. Simply explain that you have just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you still love. A counselor will offer much better advice than friends or family. Remember, they are trained professionals for this, friends and family aren't.

Friends and family might think they know all the right answers and solutions to your situation. In reality they can make things more confusing or even worse for you and then not really knowing what to do. Some may genuinely try to help you get over your ex, while others may not have liked the relationship you were in to begin with.They may want you to get over everything as quickly as possible and move on to another partner. Having a counselor, though, you can tell them intimate and private things about the relationship you probably would not want friends or family to even know.

Don't hesitate to go to counseling for as long as needed to feel more confident and comfortable about yourself and dealing with the break up. If your counselor feels you're dwelling to much on how to get over your ex love, they'll tell you.

Changing From Relationship To Friendship

2010-02-03T22:36:00.000-05:00

The most dreaded phrase in the world… "Can we be friends?" It's the most used break up line around, but it is also something that has to be faced when a relationship is finally over. Or in many cases "should we be friends?" And if so, "how will that friendship be defined?

Whether it was a marriage or a deep partnership, many issues must be taken care of when the romance ends. In the case of divorce, there are legal processes to handle such as property being divided up etc.

Decisions may have to be made about the friends the two of you have and whether those friendships can or should continue.Take priority first on the "business" end of your relationship.

The first step in healing yourself is to "NOT" be concerned about the place your ex will hold in your future.You need time and space to reflect on the relationship and learn the inevitable lessons that arose from that experience between the two of you.Use hobbies or favorite activities to keep yourself mentally driven and active.In a lot of cases exercising or some type of sports can relieve the stress and anxiety of the situation. REMEMBER "fix yourself first"

If there is a possibility that a friendship may evolve with an ex, make sure you take the necessary time to fully
understand your motives and reasons for pursuing that friendship. Do not rush in at the thought, thinking the break up will go smoother by being friends. Be careful what defines a friendship, will it be just conversation, some sort of connection, kids or maybe interests you both may have had in the past. Again, keep in mind that your main goal is to find closure in the relationship

Make a list of pros and cons of having a friendship with your former partner. Also realizing that those same reasons that led to the relationship's end may be critical points that make a friendship with your ex an unfavorable idea. In reality you must acknowledge the fact that someone who was once an important part of your past may not have a place in your future.

Make yourself a set of rules and stick to them! It's a very common thing to happen to bump into a partner from the past and go for a friendly drink and then you have a few more drinks, the "old fire" starts to get rekindled about the "good old times" and the next thing you know things are happening that you will regret in the morning. If you start to notice your feelings wondering........STOP and stand firm, remember, "set your limits."

Get Your Ex Back Even While Being Ignored

2010-02-03T14:56:00.000-05:00

One of the biggest problems with break ups is when you want to talk to your ex and they ignore you. This happens a lot for many people when they realize the mistakes they have made and want to apologize to their ex, only being ignored by them.

It is not a good thing to contact your ex right after breaking up. Both of you need a break from each other and time to sort your thoughts out.

Even though you are facing a lot of hardships in life right now, life still goes on. Try not to dwell on negative points as life will go on without you and you will miss out on it all.

Try to be strong enough to move forward one step at a time no matter how much your ex ignores you. Your aim is to get back your ex so keep going step by step without letting negative thoughts hold you back from moving forward.

You should not think that leaving your ex to be on his / her own for any length of time will keep them from coming back. This is not true as it is said " absence makes the heart grow fonder." By giving them time to sort their thoughts out, it also gives you the time to figure out what caused the relationship to break up to begin with.

Be self-confident and do not plead with your ex to come back. Your goal isn't to show that your life can't go on without him / her, but to show how much you want and need them. Show your ex that you are strong, proficient, self sufficient and confident even when she/he is ignoring you.

You can go for a brand new look that can bring back the lost confidence within youself. It is a crucial point of time, do not let the past affect your feelings or your way of thinking. The new look and the confidence might make your ex look at you with zest and new heartiness. He/She should not have any good reasons to ignore you after this.

Trying To Get Back Together With An Ex?

2010-02-03T09:55:00.000-05:00

If you are pondering the thought of getting back together with your ex, be weary of heading down a rough road to begin with. Things may have settled down and cooled off since the break up, and now you’re anxious to find out if a reunion is still indeed possible. Of course, you may have said or did a lot of things that you didn’t mean, and maybe you have changed for the better and want your ex back; how do they feel about you now? And if chances are looking grim, is it still possible that you’ll get back together in the future?

To be honest with you, this is a difficult question to answer considering I don’t know you or your situation. However it doesn't matter what has happened between the two of you, remember that what happened in the past does not equal what could happen in the future, so it’s never too late to try and start turning your situation around.

Basically, if the two of you are not on speaking terms at the moment, you can get on speaking terms and stay that way without arguing and ranting. You have to grasp more efficient ways of communicating and taking very small steps towards progress.

Sometimes however your efforts may be better spent elsewhere instead. If your relationship was affecting your health, you should consider the possibility of putting it behind you for good because such a thing will usually only bring about more heartache and pain. If you don't see any progressive changes coming from your ex, there's no point in persuing getting back into your ex’s life.

The ability to get back together, really narrows down to you and the perfect timing. Love usually grasps us when we least expect it, the best thing to do is push all conscious desires of getting back together as far back in your mind as you can and just focus on having a positive and rewarding friendship with your ex instead.

As cliche as it probably sounds, anything is quite possible, but if you’re not following some sort of a plan that will ensure you’re headed in the right direction, then your chances will be zero to slim.

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2001-01-01T08:15:00.001-05:00

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